OK here goes. 2010, post 1.
Strike me pink if it’s not impossible to be inspired/enthusiastic/full of heartfelt resolutions when it is still raining. Take a look at this:
It may as well be a graphic illustration of my biorhythm chart for how it reflects my attitude to the new year.
Resolutions huh? Well I say the world had better be making some resolutions about treating ME better this year. Because, hello, I have been putting in a hefty effort and all I get is RAIN and a headache or TEN.
Actually I can’t go on like this because my default setting is, actually, optimistic. I can’t help it. I know it’s not rational but it’s not my fault. I was made that way.
Take today, for example. It was good. Today I met someone in the medical profession who knows what she’s doing. Today, suddenly, I found out that I do not have breast cancer. This is a big achievement seeing as I’ve been banging on about this lump under my arm since, like, last February FODER-SE PORRA FILHO DA PUTA. Sorry, bad words, just slipped out.
Yeah, it’s amazing when the system works – you tell a doctor in the morning “I gotta lump” she sends you off to people with machines who take a look and they say “You gotta lump”, then even to someone else with another machine who says “yep, really gotta lump, you know?”. I say, yeah, I KNOW that’s what I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW (and then I start telling the story about getting bitten by a mole, and their eyes glaze over… I really should have never said a word about the mole. I think that’s where it all went wrong. Retrospect. Don’tcha hate it). Anyway my lump has now received the recognition it has always wanted and it’s not breast cancer, and that’s the end of that. Yay.
Now there’s just the brain tumour to get sorted. See if I can get that done tomorrow…
I’m feeling better already, and lo! Is that the sun?
If only I could write something… but while I am not making resolutions I have decided, maybe, I should stop eating so many pastries this year. It’s not healthy. It’s not attractive. Other people are cutting the lard, so can I.
But strike me pink again if you can’t see the link between these ideas. No pastries = No words! And my other (not) resolution is to do five posts a month. It’s a conflict of interest! Something’s got to give!
Speaking of giving, here’s resolution #3 (I give in, looks like I am making resolutions after all): Earning a Living. There may still be some hope of achieving this through writing, especially if my dearest readers use the support button below. Look, down there, on the bottom right hand frame of the window – support. I promise not to spend it all on pastries.
Seeing as tinyartdirector is on holidays the pictures on these first few posts will not be up to the usual standard. Sorry. But at least, because she’s away, I can get away with calling her tinyartdirector, because I’m sure the owner of that intellectual property won’t mind so long as you visit his blog. Just don’t tell him that his 4-yr-old is working for me now.
And now for resolution #4. Building a house. If I can keep writing, earn a living, not spend it on pastries, get fit and healthy, I can then build a house. And if I’m building a house, it gives me something to write about. It’s a self -watering system. An automatic feeder. Recycling my renewable resources.
I don’t want you to worry that my posts will be this lame all year… There are lots of tasty things to look forward to like How to Order Coffee (with pics at the best cafes in Lisbon). There will be a Five Favourite: Museums. And lots of Day Trips… nice not-so-famous places to visit. There will be the usual gossip about the neighbours and the complaints about Portuguese beaurocracy. And building! Yes there will be building! So stick with me, dear reader, I can’t do it without you…
I’d like to finish with a shout-out to some of the great people I’ve met this year. Especially to the Other Emma in Portugal who introduced me to the life-saving doctor. And to Little Wolf, and the Other Australian in Portugal, it’s great to know you. Let’s build it!