Several Things are standing between me and happiness.
All The Papers on my left which must be dealt with by thinking and typing and reading and thinking and listening and sitting still, but mostly typing. Just sometimes I take photographs and it’s a relief but it also takes time, time, time is another thing that stands between me and happiness.
Papers, my enemy. Telephone, my enemy. Facebook, my enemy.
Happiness comes with a paintbrush. My happiness is many small jobs to be done in order and added up will make a bathroom, an office, a kitchen, a home. People might think it’s work but my happiness comes with a screwdriver, a spade, dirty hands, a bottle of acid, and stones. Especially stones.
Everything Is Almost Finished, unfinished, never finished.
The bathroom is the closest to happiness. Just the beautiful door, the frames, the hole in the bath and a small wall of tiles to go. Just four small things: but not four small hours, not even four small days. But still, the bathroom is already loveable. I love the windowsill. I love the white. I love the blue. I love the fish. I love it all.
Next, The Hallway. At least a week. Render, frame, plaster, clean, paint and two ikea assemblies! Another trip to ikea! A whole day I have to give away, again.
The Office Stands in the way of the kitchen, which I am desperate for. So many months drawing! Imagining! A white kitchen, a kitchen with drawers, an industrial stove, an island, less cupboards, more gadgets, an empty kitchen, an invisible kitchen.
The office is drowning in sawdust. Clean, drill, frame, plaster, paint, floor, door. 7 things! Two weeks? Three weeks? Ever?
And Then Before the kitchen, the floor, the walls, empty the room, live somewhere else, the pets, secure, clean, stain, lime, varnish, paint, clean.
Assemble Ikea! Call the carpenter! Frame the walls! Call the electrician! Oh god bring me a kitchen! A girl cannot live on microwave alone!